Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
