I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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