He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
