I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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