bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
