it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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