just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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