I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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