Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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