I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
