My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
