she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
