I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
