do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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