whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize