Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
