I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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