she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
