my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
