That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
