So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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