Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
