I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
and you fell through a lawn chair
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
