The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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