Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
