how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
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My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
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My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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