I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize