i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
