Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
