I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize