My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
