I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
