She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
