I want to make a zoo with you.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
