He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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