based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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