im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
