just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
