we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
