I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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