My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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