We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize