If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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