Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
