I wish my penis had an off switch
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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