he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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