Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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