talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
