Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize