It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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