Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
