They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize