my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
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