Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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