now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We need a shit load of segways right now
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
