Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My vagina is officially offended.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
