Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
