I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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