Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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