I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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