I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
