Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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