If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
