I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
