once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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