My room smells like vodka and shame
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
