Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I came so hard my ears popped.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
